How to tame a tantrum in 10 steps

OR a 1000.

Gotchya !!
If you are here, I feel ya.
Sometimes I really wish the babies came with instruction manual on what to do when the system backfires (read tantrums).

But no, there isn't a rule book or a how-to manual on what to do when faced with a full blown toddler tantrum. At home, you may have a wide variety of options but when in public these little people know how to push our buttons and even shooting glares at the husband (who would be busy pretending he doesn't know us), doesn't work!


I am usually quite calm when it comes to my little guy but even so, there are days when I am driven to my limits. My usually happy little boy would someday suddenly decide to be adamant on some silly little thing (like taking off his pants in public *eye-roll*), and nothing, I repeat, nothing would convince him otherwise. And then he would proceed to throw a planking tantrum right in the middle of a busy public square on a Sunday (True Story). At this point, I can feel all judgmental eyes on me and hear people's thoughts on how my parenting is flawed. I can feel my ears going red from embarrassment and failure on how I am brought down to my knees by a two year old.

I give myself two choices in such scenarios -

First, be the other tantrum maker and scream at this tiny human being for doing what a two year old does. Yell at him and tell him how his yelling and screaming is wrong because you know, he is making a scene. Tell him off to behave properly while yanking him by his hand trying to get him to stand up. I can tell this kind, loving soul who hugs strangers and awwws at little babies and runs to help anybody who is hurt, that he is a bad boy for embarrassing his parents. I can drag him with a morbid expression on my face while he continues to cry and throw his limbs around to get free. He wouldn't even remember why he was crying in first place but now he would be crying because he is scared. Of me. Of the person who loves him most in this entire world.
Why would he be scared of me? I will tell you why.
One day, just as I was finishing off brushing my teeth and my toddler had been continuously banging on the bathroom door to let him in, I heard something smash and clatter on the floor. I was so mad by then, I screamed like a bear and happened to look up in the mirror. Gosh. I looked horrid. Is that what my kid saw each time I was screaming at him? That scary, frowned-up, angry, unhappy face? It is enough to scare my husband. No wonder it scared my little guy. Seeing the playful, lovable face of his mommy turn into this angry scary mask must be terrifying for a two year old.

Second, be the grown up in the picture. Remind myself that he is the toddler. Let him get his feelings out, which is loosely translated as let him cool down a little bit. Not expect him to behave like an adult and sob silently with a tissue. Let him know he is okay and I am here with him. I can tell him I know he is upset and I understand (even though I don't!). And while ensuring he stays in a safe zone, wait for him to calm down. Smile genuinely. Talk to him. Not try to reason because reasoning with a two year old? You would have better chances taming a dinosaur :D. Just distract him enough to catch his attention on something new. Mine has an attention span of 20 secs. So he is usually easy to distract and redirect. No fake promises or bribes. But rewards on good behavior . And most importantly, not seem to be embarrassed of his behavior. Every time he begins to get difficult, I can remind myself that he is learning. And I am an example right in front of him to follow. I gotta behave just as I expect him to. Keep my voice calm, yet stern. He would soon not even remember why he is crying. I can hold him and let him know he is safe and heard. I can tell him I love him and it makes me sad to see him sad.
It's so hard being calm in this situation but it is also rewarding in the end. 


Now, don't get me wrong here. I have long ago learnt not to categorize any parenting style as right or wrong. For me, it's just my parenting style or your parenting style. What works for one may not work for other. As much as I would like to always make the second choice, some days are just too hard to stay in control. The temper and the tantrums do sometimes push me beyond and before I realize I find self screaming and announcing time outs.

And then, at night when he is fast asleep, I find myself stealing tiny little kisses and whispering sorrys for being hard on him.

Mommying is way too hard and challenging than it looks. We are faced with these choices a hundred times every day. And yet we manage to maintain our sanity. Regardless of how we end up handling their tantrums, we love these mini-humans more than words can tell.

The Dinosaur Drink - For your little Picky Eater

There are lots of chores and tasks we do everyday for our family, but as a mother, I feel the most rewarding is when a meal is successful with your kids. And I know it's not as often as we would like !

It takes quite a maneuver to get a picky toddler to eat without fussing and sometimes even the bribes don't work. It is exhausting, time consuming and also, discouraging when a lovely meal prepared with loads of love goes uneaten or frowned at. Now, we may blame the kids (because of-course whatever we make is for their health and growth and is also yummy !) but they are evolving and so are their taste buds. They may sometimes surprise you completely by loving something you assumed they would never eat in a million years.

My almost two-year old little guy has been a hard work when it comes to food. He had only four teeth at about 15 months so there was not much chewy food he could eat and a long way down the road he only preferred soft, mushy meals. Quite a hard work and limited choices.On top of it he wouldn't drink milk as is. It was during this time I introduced him to the world of smoothies and he has not looked back since !

Smoothies are a super delicious, full of health, easy blend of fruits and vegetables which packs all the goodness in one drink. There are many choices of flavor to play around with and not a lot of effort ! Whats more - they are the easiest way to get your kids to like the greens and there is absolutely no added sugar required !

Here, I am sharing a basic smoothie which is ALWAYS a hit with my little one. I call it the 'Dinosaur Drink' :-)

Dinosaur Drink -

1 Cup of fresh baby spinach (raw)

Half of a big banana

A couple of strawberries

Half cup of yogurt ( you can use flavored yogurt of your choice)

That's it ! Just blend it in a mixture and pour it in a glass. Do not strain it. It will be smooth and sweet without any added sugar. You can serve it in a glass, or pour it in a bowl and top it with sliced bananas, strawberries or any sliced dry fruit of your choice ! As for me, I sprinkle the smoothies with chia seeds.

There are a lot of other ways you can tweak the above with what's available with you. For example -

A cup of fresh spinach (raw)

A slice of mango

Half a kiwi

Half cup of coconut water

One banana

A little squeeze of lemon

Blend and ready !

Another one is -

The Very Berry Blend :-)

A banana

Handful each of blueberries, strawberries and blackberries

Half a cup of yogurt

2TBSP coconut water

Blend and yummy !!

Basically, spinach goes very well in all smoothies and you can flavor the drink with fruits at hand like kiwis, bananas, berries , apples , mangoes and use coconut water, yogurt, almond milk and any healthy flavor substitute your kid likes. Top them with sliced almonds, cashews, chia seeds, tutti fruities or just grate a little chocolate on top!

I make a glass of smoothie as a mid-morning snack or a post-nap energiser and hand it to my toddler while he is watching TV or playing or simple running around. He loves it and with each sip growls to show me how 'powerful' he is getting with the dinosaur drink :D

It was and continues to be a big hit with my toddler and also the rest of the family. And so, I wanted to share it with all you lovely people. It does take a lot of stress away to know your baby has had a good potion of veggies and fruits in one drink and makes all that food-fussiness a bit more tolerable.

Hope you guys try these and your little one (and you !) enjoy them too !

Author Note : Please do leave your feedback and experience in the comments below. I blog my baby's meals most of the time to keep a track of his eating habits and also to learn and help other mammas with different ideas to will their little picky eaters into eating! Do follow my page and you can visit my profile for the further details. Thank you.

Just had my baby and I felt..

Lonely.

No, before your thoughts wander let me clear that nothing had gone wrong. I had an emergency c-section and had given birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. It was just me waking up post surgery, in an empty room and under the effect of pain-killers which aside from doing their job, were also making me all emotionally unstable.

My husband had just stepped out of the room for a few minutes when I woke up. First thought I had when I came to my senses was to try and feel the wriggle in my tummy. One caused by my baby doing somersaults when he inhabited it. There was nothing except my now squished 'paunch' felt like a big ball of jell-o. That's EXACTLY when I began to cry. I was sad. And alone. And angry. And of course, not in the right state of mind. I did not understand why I felt so. I ought to be happy and full of all those joyful emotions a new mom feels. Instead I felt like I lost a trophy and everything was unfair in the world. Sigh.

I didn't understand then why I felt differently. It wasn't until a few weeks later that an incident made me realize what caused it. I had not slept in weeks and the baby needed nursing round the clock and I was just too tired to take any more. My mother-in-law was with me helping around the house. She offered to take Jamie, my boy, with her for a few days so I can recover...that did it. That's exactly what made me feel sad, angry and what not post-delivery. No, not my mother-in-law! She is a true gem honestly. No, it was how possessive I was (and still am) of my baby boy. Thinking about my baby being with someone else..that made me realize..

I realized that when I woke up in the hospital room all alone , with an empty pouch of a tummy, I had to share. I had to share my precious baby boy with everyone else ! He wasn't just mine now and those little secret conversations, those little flips and hidden jokes we had over the past nine months were now open to all. It wasn't our secret anymore. I wasn't ready to share,not even with his dad. I wanted him all for myself. Selfish, yes. I blame it on the medication ! Also, it didn't help that I was the last one to hold my new born baby. All my family and friends had already introduced themselves to him and I was the last ! I felt so miserable and yet I couldn't express it. Mainly because I wasn't sure why I was feeling all that ,and also because it was nobody's fault. Emotional mess (that lasted a few sore days)..

It wasn't until a half hour later that I got to hold my boy in my arms. He was crying when they handed him to me and I whispered his name and he went quiet. Everyone went quiet.
He recognized me and I fell in love.

I must add here this was all me going through a strange mix of emotions. I couldn't have made it a single day without the unconditional care of my family and friends.. I was really a ticking bomb waiting to blow up any second but they stayed (must have really scaled on their patience tests :D )!