My toddler eats everything I offer him..

..said no mom ever !

It is probably the hardest and when successful, most rewarding part of the day for a mom when her child eats the meal she planned for him. But more often than desired, kids are picky about their meals. You may have slogged the entire morning to get their favorite dish ready but they change their mind in a second!
A few spoons and half an hour later, you might resort to that TV or Tablet to do the work for you. And you feed them when they are not paying attention. The guilt of a leaving a child hungry weighs more than letting him watch the TV.
Sounds familiar?

Well. You are not alone. My little guy is 3 years old and although, he has much better eating habits than he did an year ago, he still has his strike days.
So I am gonna share a few tricks and tips that work for me.

👉 Variety :

Not just for different meal times, but also in a single meal.
Offer small portions of 3 or 4 different choices. Make sure to include one food item which your kid will most certainly eat (no sweeties here) and one food item you want him to introduce or get him to try. Use fruits or dry fruits like dates, raisins, dried cranberries, e.t.c. as dessert.
An eg. meal could be as shown : ghee roasted paneer slices with sprinkled salt, oranges and some raspberries.

👉 Healthy snacking in-between meals

I have heard of moms complaining that their toddler is forever asking for snacks. They remain a myth to me because my boy won't ask me for anything (except a candy!) . BUT he eats when I offer him small snacks while he is playing or just busy running around.
So. Keep snacks handy and as healthy as possible and offer them in between the three main meals. Don't expect your kid to finish it all. Let him get used to the idea of munching in small breaks. This will help increase his appetite while also increase his interest in trying new things during snack time.
Here are a few healthy snacks you can try with your little one -

• Sliced fruits (apples, oranges, cantaloupes) 
• Grapes (choking hazard: always cut up the grapes for kids under 5)
• Cheese slices
• Cheese sticks
• Roasted Makhane
• Raisins (I used to give soaked raisins to my boy before he had a mouthful of teeth)
• Crackers
• Homemade muffins or cookies
• Baked baby carrots
• Baked potato fries
• Dry Cereal (Coco puffs, froot loops, cheerios, anything!)
• Homemade oats bar

👉 Substitute Meal

Somedays no matter what I try, my son refuses to eat more than a bite. Its easy to get frustrated and worked up on such days and lash out at everyone in the vicinity. So, this is what I do to make it a bit easier on myself really. I substitute that meal with a healthy and filling drink. Toddlers are usually more receptive to drinking than eating so that works in our favor. Here are a few health drink ideas you can use when your little one is being fussy. Best part - no sugar!

• Banana Milkshake
• Chocolate and banana milkshake
• Hot Chocolate
• Ice cream shakes
• Smoothies 
• Check out my earlier blog on Dinosaur Drinks for recipes

Top these up with chia seeds for that extra zing.

👉 Look and feel
Who doesn't like a well plated meal. Use sectional plates if you can. Some kids don't like their food items getting mixed. Plus it helps to keep a track of what he preferred to eat more.
If you have some extra time (:D :D) go ahead and create a food art platter to make it more enticing!
It's something to see that look on your little ones face :-)
Healthy eating is great. But a little bit of sprinkles and chocolate chips never killed anybody! Use those to get your client's (kid's) attention. Put colorful sprinkles over the oatmeal or roti. It's a game changer !

@jamieandmamma

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Now enough about getting your little one to eat.
READ THE BELOW POINTERS CAREFULLY.
They come from my very own experience-

💙Don't push a kid to eat something he absolutely refuses. You may try later in some other meal, but if you continue pushing he may actually resent it than like it.

💙Do Not be stubborn on how much your kid is SUPPOSED to eat. Every kid is different. Some eat more than others. Don't fret. As long as your little one is still healthy and keeping you on your toes, he is eating enough.

💙Do Not try to feed a little one while you yourself are hungry. Trust me, the frustration of a kid testing your patience on empty stomach is grueling. Eat your meal beforehand if your kid is a known picky eater.

💙 Face the fact that no matter what you try, there may come a day when everything goes to sh*t. Listen to me girl...IT'S OKAY.  It happens. And you are certainly not alone. So chin up and bottoms up.

That's it! Oh and if you need toddler friendly food ideas, go visit my page on Insta!
Happy Eating.

Beware ! Kids Are Watching

I am often told that since becoming a mom, my life has turned a reverse gear. I am more of a child now than I was a few years ago  

I don't mind. I mean look at the joy and fun in this moment. 

How could I just pass it on for the sake of being 'too old' !! This little person brings out the better me who is more fun, relaxed and just like him doesn't care about who is watching. When I am with him I am not afraid of being silly or goofy. He empowers me somehow. ️️

The line between who is the parent is sometimes so thin I barely notice. We are a team. A very strong one too. 

.

.

Kids are very observant and adaptive. We can teach them a lot through books and other media but nothing compares to how much they learn by just watching us and their surroundings.  Have had your kid pick up on a swear word you said only once under breath?? Yep. You know what I mean then.

This certainly works as an auto-correct for us 🤷🏻‍♀️

A few simple things I always keep in mind and in actions, especially when my little one is around -

🏻 Smile 

     Isn't a smile contagious? Seeing the happy face of your loved one brings calmness and control over your own emotions.  And lets face it. It's hard to get angry at a happy person. I mean a genuine happy person...not the sort who sits across the park and watches you duel with parenthood with a silly grin on his face.

And smiling helps developing the social skills too.

🏻 Be Kind

    In words and in deeds. To family and to strangers. How lovely it is to see my little one greet people with a nice big 'Hi' and a broad smile. How it fills my heart when he stops for anyone who is hurt or crying and wouldn't budge before giving them a hug. Kindness again is contagious. 

When your littles watch you being kind to others, they perceive it as a way of life. It embeds not as a teaching but as a quality that stays with them for life. And kindness done always ends with kindness received. It's time tested.

🏻 Be yourself

     Like I said, when I am around him I am not afraid of anything. Of who is watching, who is judging and how stupid I may look. Unh uhhh.

Nothing should stop you from liking who you are. When your kid sees you confident enough to sing horribly in a karaoke party or dance like a goofball and still watch you enjoy yourself happily..there is no embarrassment. There is only pride.  And joy.  One day he or she would need courage to be themselves in front of a crowd. And these little memories will be more resourceful than any pep talk. 

🏻 Use your words carefully

         I believe a lot in the power of words. My mom used to say 'na marta bhalon talwaar se, mar jaata hai shabdon k waar se' . Meaning - " Strongest of the warriors are killed by hurt of words."

It may sound hard to believe but I have never called my baby as 'naughty' . I don't have anything against those who use it but I just don't . Because he is not. Even when using it fondly, the word doesn't justify its meaning. I have a little, pure soul who is constantly growing. I wouldn't use any words with negative vibes. 

When I am really mad at what he has done, he sees it on my face (not the angry contorted face but a sad, disappointed one).

Instead of saying, I am angry , I say I am upset.

Instead of saying  he is being naughty, I say 'that's not nice.' 

You get the idea. 

There are so many ways around harsh words and honestly, we only use harsh,strong words to hurt the person we are angry with. And even though we may get furious as hell, I am certain no mom would ever wanna break her little ones heart. It would break hers too.

Also, goes without saying - the above applies not just to kids but to everyone around us.

🏻 Never make promises you can't keep

        Simply put, Fake promise = Lie.

        I don't like being lied to. Why should I lie to a kid?

        Yes, there are times during those inconsolable tantrums when nothing else would work. When no other way seems to come to rescue. But when we abate a situation on a lie, it only escalates later. (Check out my previous post on tantrum dealings )

      I won't deny that I haven't ever used the " do this and we will get you new toys" mantra . But when all is well and my 2 year old asks me " go shop toys?" and I give him another excuse..it just builds up on my mom guilt too much. And also, you run out of excuses pretty soon because two year olds can be really persistent ! 

     Better than this, I *try to* get him to behave nicely for a few days and reward him with a treat ( a toy, a cake , a candy, whatever the moment calls for).

These few bits are a part of my wish-list for my kid's personality. I don't know how successful I will be, but I will keep trying without ever giving up. And that's another thing he will learn.

How to tame a tantrum in 10 steps

OR a 1000.

Gotchya !!
If you are here, I feel ya.
Sometimes I really wish the babies came with instruction manual on what to do when the system backfires (read tantrums).

But no, there isn't a rule book or a how-to manual on what to do when faced with a full blown toddler tantrum. At home, you may have a wide variety of options but when in public these little people know how to push our buttons and even shooting glares at the husband (who would be busy pretending he doesn't know us), doesn't work!


I am usually quite calm when it comes to my little guy but even so, there are days when I am driven to my limits. My usually happy little boy would someday suddenly decide to be adamant on some silly little thing (like taking off his pants in public *eye-roll*), and nothing, I repeat, nothing would convince him otherwise. And then he would proceed to throw a planking tantrum right in the middle of a busy public square on a Sunday (True Story). At this point, I can feel all judgmental eyes on me and hear people's thoughts on how my parenting is flawed. I can feel my ears going red from embarrassment and failure on how I am brought down to my knees by a two year old.

I give myself two choices in such scenarios -

First, be the other tantrum maker and scream at this tiny human being for doing what a two year old does. Yell at him and tell him how his yelling and screaming is wrong because you know, he is making a scene. Tell him off to behave properly while yanking him by his hand trying to get him to stand up. I can tell this kind, loving soul who hugs strangers and awwws at little babies and runs to help anybody who is hurt, that he is a bad boy for embarrassing his parents. I can drag him with a morbid expression on my face while he continues to cry and throw his limbs around to get free. He wouldn't even remember why he was crying in first place but now he would be crying because he is scared. Of me. Of the person who loves him most in this entire world.
Why would he be scared of me? I will tell you why.
One day, just as I was finishing off brushing my teeth and my toddler had been continuously banging on the bathroom door to let him in, I heard something smash and clatter on the floor. I was so mad by then, I screamed like a bear and happened to look up in the mirror. Gosh. I looked horrid. Is that what my kid saw each time I was screaming at him? That scary, frowned-up, angry, unhappy face? It is enough to scare my husband. No wonder it scared my little guy. Seeing the playful, lovable face of his mommy turn into this angry scary mask must be terrifying for a two year old.

Second, be the grown up in the picture. Remind myself that he is the toddler. Let him get his feelings out, which is loosely translated as let him cool down a little bit. Not expect him to behave like an adult and sob silently with a tissue. Let him know he is okay and I am here with him. I can tell him I know he is upset and I understand (even though I don't!). And while ensuring he stays in a safe zone, wait for him to calm down. Smile genuinely. Talk to him. Not try to reason because reasoning with a two year old? You would have better chances taming a dinosaur :D. Just distract him enough to catch his attention on something new. Mine has an attention span of 20 secs. So he is usually easy to distract and redirect. No fake promises or bribes. But rewards on good behavior . And most importantly, not seem to be embarrassed of his behavior. Every time he begins to get difficult, I can remind myself that he is learning. And I am an example right in front of him to follow. I gotta behave just as I expect him to. Keep my voice calm, yet stern. He would soon not even remember why he is crying. I can hold him and let him know he is safe and heard. I can tell him I love him and it makes me sad to see him sad.
It's so hard being calm in this situation but it is also rewarding in the end. 


Now, don't get me wrong here. I have long ago learnt not to categorize any parenting style as right or wrong. For me, it's just my parenting style or your parenting style. What works for one may not work for other. As much as I would like to always make the second choice, some days are just too hard to stay in control. The temper and the tantrums do sometimes push me beyond and before I realize I find self screaming and announcing time outs.

And then, at night when he is fast asleep, I find myself stealing tiny little kisses and whispering sorrys for being hard on him.

Mommying is way too hard and challenging than it looks. We are faced with these choices a hundred times every day. And yet we manage to maintain our sanity. Regardless of how we end up handling their tantrums, we love these mini-humans more than words can tell.

Mommies get the best breaks. JUST KIDDING!!

Lately, I have been doing a lot of reading at every opportunity I get. By opportunity I mean sneaking to the bathroom with an iPad under my shirt. I have discovered that ALL women are workaholics..and hence, are exhausted, running on fumes and still giving it their all (whatever 'it' may be). When I say workaholics, I don't mean any employment. I refer to simply being occupied in one task or the other be it the job, home, family, etc.

I realize I am one of them too.

When my baby was born, everyone told me it will get easier in 6 months. Those sly foxes!

It never gets easier! It may seem hard and a 24 x 7 on-call duty when your little one is born but let me tell you - this is the most free and relaxed you ever will be from now. Once they start crawling...a whole new definition arrives at household chaos. All your senses will work full time and that is when you may achieve your peak potential of multitasking and not even realize it!
Since I brought this beautiful little person in this world, I have always been on the go. From 3AM wake-ups to 11PM bedtime refusals, from making breakfast for a tiny tummy to checking the diaper a 100 times a day, from tidying the house to re-tidying it again..and I always wonder where the day went! I have noticed (so has my family :D) that I continue like this for at most a couple of weeks and then my bubble bursts and I go from being 'Mary Poppins' to 'Cruella de Vil'  and all hell breaks lose.

It is bound to happen because I push myself too much. I admit it. The excuse is always 'it will take 2 mins to do' for mostly everything. The result is a super tired, cranky, nagging, no-good human being who has all her meal times mixed up and still won't be sleeping a whole night because of a wakey-wakey baby.

One thing that works wonders and is a definite solution to such emotional build-ups is taking a break. Now that's simple. Everyone takes a break, pauses down the rush-hour-life. There are a hundred different ways I can "break" myself free. How hard can it be?? Turns out - VERY.

No one in my family is against time-offs. Infact I have an absolutely wonderful husband who is always encouraging me to take some time for myself. But here's the thing - A mother is the 'Google' of the family. And "if it's something weird or not at all...Who you gonna call?!". Yup.

Husbands are hardwired to never ask for directions when outside the house and ALWAYS ask the whereabouts of something that is right in front of their face. Plus they have a certain ability to never keep anything where it was before use.

The toddler wouldn't even look at you when you are around him but the moment you step out of the room, mommy-radar starts beeping at the top of his voice.

Want the attention of the whole family? Just sit down, look comfy and reach for the TV remote. Within seconds, the baby materializes jumping on your lap, husband comes over asking for his wallet which is right on the table in front of him but is somehow invisible until pointed at and everyone is suddenly hungry!

And if by some miracle, none of this happens, it'll be my own used-to-multitasking self that will contemplate a hundred ways things might go wrong if I wasn't there. Like what if the baby cries and daddy can't soothe him, what if the stove is left on, what will they eat, what if the baby refuses to eat, what if he eats a Lego!, and the list is endless. I might sneak a few glances of my phone every minute to ensure there is no "what if" emergency and be suspicious if nothing comes up too! You see, I have gotten so used to worrying and doing things on my own AND MY WAY that a break (at times) brings on a guilt and an urge to rush back and assume the role.

I strongly recommend - Don't. Don't rush. 

It is tempting to just carry on hustling everyday because "I will do it in a few minutes" but it is also exhausting. Remember that when we are our nagger self, the most we complain about is not getting a few minutes to ourselves. Remember the airplane rule - Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others. Only when the roots are watered, the tree would blossom.

So, take a break.

Now I don't mean go all revolutionary, ditch the chores and don't let anyone disturb you. I mean take a break from the urge of doing everything by yourself. Don't let the "it's my way or the highway" control you. Let the house be messed up today and the beds unmade.Take 5 mins longer in that shower. Of-course, there won't be any stopping the baby banging the bathroom door or the hubby asking every minute when will you come out. Take a break from coming up with a response. Order-in the dinner or let your husband show his culinary skills. Try not to chalk out a list of instructions (we do that, it's a women thing :D). And if you have one of those can't-cook-if-the-world-was-ending husbands, make him a khichdi. Resist the tadka. Spend a minute longer in front of the mirror, dress up, doll up and go out. Take a walk or hang out with your girlfriends. Choose to let any negative vibe bounce off you today. Keep that frown in check. A break doesn't have to be 5 mins, an hour, a day or a week long. Just long enough to rejuvenate and revitalize whatever makes you YOU. Just a time off from reacting to everything that happens around you, a time for just thinking about your favorite things, a time to just let everything be.

I say this like I do all of it. Of course not- as much as I'd like to, it is in no way easy. I may pull one or at most two of the above said in one day and I feel good!  If you are anything like me, a break would look like sporting my most comfy pajamas (practically my fashion statement for the past year), being couch-installed and trying to get past the prologue of a book I have been trying to read for the past 2 months. If I get past 15 mins of this without the toddler snatching the said book and ripping it apart, or throwing the remote in my face or his daddy asking (for the 10th time) where is the coffee mug that he bought and kept on the top shelf *eye roll* ...I will gladly, and somewhat suspiciously, consider it a break.

And while I try my luck at this, I am aware soon my little one would be a preschooler and his dad busy at work and my afternoons might be a bit too quiet for my liking. We mommies are a weird specimen of contradictory human emotions :D

PS.- Don't ever confuse a family vacation with a break. I did. Big Mistake. :D