Saturday, September 24, 2016

"You are going to be a mom ! How do you feel?"

Ever since we announced my pregnancy at 12 weeks, I had to face this question a lot..sometimes from complete strangers too.

"You are going to be a do you"

Like a Pigosaurus.

Yup. That was the first response that would pop up in my mind. Of course I didn't say it out loud. For two reasons - First, my hormone-ridden moody-self couldn't be arsed into explaining what that meant and second, it wasn't the expected answer!! Thanks to the cover pictures on the various parenting and baby magazines, a to-be-mom is 'expected' to be that glowing image of a woman of perfect-shape, perfect hair, happily gazing at their perfect round belly while sitting in the balcony of her impeccable home, and did I mention she is always happily smiling at everyone! I was not any of it. Ha !

I couldn't actually decide how I felt. It wasn't as simple as a switch being flipped and turning 'motherly' mode on. Infact, when we went for our very first ultrasound, I didn't know what to expect. So when the technician told me that that loud drumbeat was the beautiful sound of my baby's heartbeat, I exclaimed loudly and said "Really ?? I feel like 'Ripley' from those alien movies!". I know I know, I feel really silly about it now, but gave us a good laugh then. It wasn't until my bump grew to a size of a football and I needed thrice as much space anywhere, be it the couch or getting into the car, that I started feeling different.

There were times though when time would stand still and I would be full of emotions I couldn't describe -
When we would wait in line for routine scans, fingers crossed, nervous as if my exam results were about to be announced (yup..geek to the core), and my darling husband would make a million nervous trips to the loo.. They may be Man-of-Steel but they get all Winnie-the-Pooh when it comes to their baby being born *eye-roll*  
When I would see a little fist covering tiny eyes  and a little mouth yawning...all this going on inside my not-so-little-now tummy, while the technician tried desperately to get a good view of the face.
When the baby did a somersault in my 'trampoline' belly and my tummy wobbled quite noticeably and freaked the hell out of my 20-something bachelor friend..who got so scared he wouldn't come within 20 ft of me. Poor chap.
There were times when I would be grumpy, whiny, tearful and just pure angry for no reason at all, making it very difficult for those around me and always getting my way. I would watch a comedy and cry my eyes out and eat a large double cheese pizza all by myself. Twice a week. I blamed it all on the hormones (and sometimes still do..with two 'kids'-an almost 20 months old and a 33 yr old's a necessity I say :D)

So how did it feel ? Going to be a mom..
Dunno..what would you say to a feeling where you feel incredibly happy, super cranky, tired, restless, sleepy, hungry, emotional, beautiful, fat, more hungry, sick, bloated, energetic, excited, scared, strong, vulnerable, overwhelmed, pee-machine, hot, cold-the-next-second, hungry again, won't move a muscle tired, motivated and lost, confused, confident, did I mention hungry...all at the same time. How do you describe "going-to-be-a-mother" feeling , which emotion do you pick? 

For me, it was feeling all of these all at once. I couldn't put a finger on which I felt more than the other..except that I should probably eat something while I pondered. So I would smile at the question, pick up my just delivered large pizza and put on another episode of Rules of Engagement while I ate my way through it...Like a Pigosaurus. 


  1. It's always quite challenging to find exact words for feelings! Nailed it! Very well expressed. Loved to read :-)

  2. Loved it! :* Its such a real account of this stage and so endearing :)

  3. Very well written...i could easily visualize it bcoz of the way its been explained